Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time
by Fr. Ivan Olmo
“Master, I want to see.” Lord, I beg you – I really beg you – from a body that wishes to bend its knees in humble adoration to praise you, from a spirit of profound humility that longs for an intimate encounter with you, from a restless mind tired of thinking, over burdened with temptation and just simply wanting to see you, from a heart that suffers spiritual homelessness when it’s unable to be united to you, from a soul overcome with a deluge of tears at the thought of you touching its innocence and seeing me, really seeing me, as no one else can see me and sincerely gazing upon the beauty you created in me. So Lord, I beg you – I really beg you – set your holy gaze upon me right now, in this moment, please come in this instant, I’m begging you. Let your infinite vision gaze upon my finiteness and see me as I am in this moment, at this time, in this instance. Let your vision of truth penetrate me to the core of my being as one who looks through a sheet of transparency paper and sees me, really sees me as I am – please see me as I am. I’m begging you please see me, I want to see you. See me in my temptations, my tribulations, my frustrations. Look upon me with the gaze of your sweet mercy and please see in me, way deep down in me the source of my impatience, my lack of understanding, my perceived shortcomings and even those shortcomings I tend to dwell on and be moved by pity for me and heal me, please heal me deep within. Let the eyes of wisdom and divine charity see in me the wounded and broken humanity given to me at birth which has been broken unmercifully by others and wounded unmercifully by me but still so mercifully treated and loved by you. O Lord, I know you feel the sense of my spiritual urgency and would never intentionally ignore me or the cries of one of your poor lowly creatures. Our hearts are forever connected – fused in an ocean of your grace. We are certain you know us and know you experience our longing for you. We know you hear our cries. You even hear our tears and the sound of our restless heartbeats. Lord, we are searching for you and we are confident that you are already on your way. “Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.”